The ROOT Water Cooler
by Iruka Sensei871
Summary: ROOT has their own perspective, and it can be quite amusing at times.  The member assigned to tap Kakashi's apartment always has the best stories.


The ROOT Water cooler

Third shift ROOT members traditionally gathered in the lounge thirty minutes early to discuss the gossip of the day. They had no connections outside ROOT, but their bonds to each other were strong. Not that they wouldn't kill each other in a second if needed, just that they enjoyed each others' company. ROOT members socialized with each other as if they were playing chess, with each one maneuvering for social and political dominance.

Operative #13 drank the Folgers and grimaced. The coffee here was always horrible. Once, long ago, a ROOT operative had infiltrated the elite jounin ranks. He didn't live long, but before he mysteriously "disappeared" he reported that the jounin lounge had actual Starbucks coffee. Operative #13 grinned to herself. _Bad coffee builds character_, she thought. This was why ROOT would prevail over ANBU. They had forsaken almost all luxuries. A good meal now and then and some gossip in the lounge was all they allowed themselves. The gossip was technically against the rules, but because it stirred up their hatred and disdain of the ANBU and weak jounins it was allowed.

Operative #71 and #48 entered the shabby room, and all attention focused on them. Everyone watched to see who they'd sit by. It established the social order for the day. #13 was pleased when #71 sat by her. She was the ROOT member assigned to tap Hatake Kakashi's apartment, and she told the best stories.

"So, what happened last week?" #13 asked. "I was out of the village. Catch me up."

#71 pushed her long blonde hair back and slowly took a sip of coffee. She closed her eyes as if savoring a fine brew. #13 restrained herself and covered her impatience with an emotionless face. #71 did this occasionally, asserting herself as one of the alphas. She had something the others craved, and she knew it.

"Well, that Uzumaki brat is screwing Kakashi's daughter."

Gasps were heard around the table. "No way! Kakashi has a daughter?" #51 asked. Everyone ignored him. #51 had failed a mission badly the week before, and the fact that he was even allowed to live was amazing. No one would speak to him for at least a month.

#13 wanted to know more about this. "When did Kakashi get a daughter?" she asked, refilling #71's coffee.

"Last week, apparently. A woman showed up from the country claiming this girl was his daughter and she wanted 18 years back child support."

"What's she like?" #13 asked. It was her duty as the chosen favorite of the day to keep up the conversation. The other ROOT members were expected to remain quiet unless #71 acknowledged them.

"She's a tart. I saw her on the video once when she first met Kakashi. She had earrings down to her shoulders, and she was popping gum the whole time. The way she was looking around his apartment, I wouldn't be surprised if he gets robbed this week. And that skirt barely covered anything."

"It would serve him right if he gets robbed, after last week," #13 said. Several members grunted acknowledgement. What Kakashi had done to that poor #84… It was just horrible. Sure, it was a mission, but there was no need for him to have gone so far.

"So Uzumaki came over the next day, talking about love and beauty and charm. He told Kakashi that he loved his daughter! Can you believe that?"

Someone laughed loudly. #71 took another long sip of coffee, obviously to hold them in suspense.

"And?" #13 asked, her curiosity overcoming her manners at last.

"And Kakashi punched him," #71 said. Her smile indicated she approved. "Uzumaki was so shocked. He stood there holding his nose and looking sad. Kakashi physically threw him out of the apartment."

The supervisor leaned in the door. "Hate to break up the hen party, but shift starts in five minutes."

Sighs came from the group as they got ready for the day. Masks were put on and kunais checked. Before they left, #71 asked #48, "so what's up with the Green Beast?"

"Not much. If I have to listen to him much longer I'll go mad. Yosh!"

All eyes turned back to #48. "Did, did you just say yosh?" #71 asked.

"Sorry!" #48 said. "I just hear it so much." She stopped as the other ROOT members shook their heads and walked through the door to their various duties. No one would speak to her for at least a month.


End file.
